Question submitted by Malcolm – Is it cheating to sleep with another woman when my wife wants a separation? My wife has cut off all intimacy with me and refuses to even sleep with me in the same bed. She has said she no longer has feelings for me sexually and is interested in developing friendships with other men. I’m wondering if I should feel guilt for sleeping with another woman at this point. We are still living the same house because she can not afford to move out on her own. I can’t wait anymore for he and she has straight up told me not to look to her for sexual intimacy. I’m confused need help deciding if it would be considered cheating if I sleep with another woman at this point??? I’ve always been a beliver in not cheating on my wife, but I think she may be seeing someone else and I would really like to be with someone at this point because it has been a long time for me. I don’t really think there’s a chance of us getting back together (maybe 2%), I know if she finds out I’m with someone else the chance will go down to 0%. However, she’s been actin cold and I think she may already be seeing someone and I’m feeling lonely over here… What do you think?
Is It Cheating to Sleep With Another Woman When Wife Wanted Separation?
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Technically yes you are cheating. You are still married and whether you share a bedroom or not you live in the same house. You also refer to her as your “wife”.
If you want to reassure yourself that you are not cheating tell her you are seeing (and sleeping) with another woman since that seems to be the okay she has been sending you. Judging by her reaction you will know whether or not you are cheating.
The only cautionary advice I would give you is not to allow any photographic or other evidence be recorded re your affair or your wife will be able to use it against you in court. She will be able to file for divorced based on grounds of infidelity not on irreconcilable differences which is the most commonly cited reason that people divorce. Judges aren’t too forgiving towards cheating spouses.
YES, it definitely IS cheating to sleep with someone else while you are still married. If she treats you so badly you need to file for a divorce immediately. Don’t waste your life with someone who doesn’t want sexual intimacy with you anymore. Unless you think there has been something you’ve done to make her feel this way… For instance if you’ve been working all the time and neglecting your wife then there may be a chance. I would see if she agrees to go to counseling with you. If you do decide to file for divorce Lisa above shares some good advice about being very careful about what can be used against you in court. It sounds like your wife depends on you for support. She could seek a crippling amount of alimony from you and get it depending on the circumstances for your divorce. Best of luck!