Submitted by Roxy – Do I Have a Lying Husband? Hey, I appreciate some of the advice I’ve seen given on this site by the readers and could use some help with my marriage. I’ve been married to this guy for six years. We were high school sweethearts and he was my first love and the only person I’ve been with. He has been with one other person, but lately he has been wanting to watch lesbian porn with me. He keeps hinting how erotic and sensual it would be for me to be with another women while he watched. I so far have gone along with his fantasy because I wanted to please him. Now I think he is watching porn when I’m not there because I saw him quickly exit out of the internet and it looked like porn to me. I asked him about it and he said it was one of the popups. I also heard him in the bathroom masturbating. I’ve never denied him sex and is always there when he needs it. However, he denied masturbating and watching porn. I feel like he is cheating on me emotionally by fantasizing being with other women. I know this isn’t as troubling behavior as some of the questions submitted to this site but, I’m scared to death of what his lying could lead to. I’ve heard watching porn can lead to marriage infidelity.Do you think I’m over reacting and would you say my husband is lying, and if so what action should I take? Thanks!!!
Do I Have a Lying Husband
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If watching porn and masturbating is cheating then billions of women are married to cheating spouses. I’d like to assume the odds are a lot better than that. All men watch porn. All of them. All of them masturbate. All of them. Married or single, there are no exceptions to this rule.
No it is not cheating by any stretch of the imagination. Give your husband permission to watch porn and to masturbate. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to have sex with you or that he desires someone else. Porn actresses are 2 dimensional characters. They aren’t real. They are merely imaginary “fuck buddies”. Like every man on earth your husband is tempted to step out on you from time to time however he tames his urges by masturbating and watching porn. So what? Consider yourself lucky.
Lighten up so he doesn’t have to shut the porn window on the computer when you walk into the room. Ignore it or join in the fun.
p.s. all men fantasize about lesbians. All of them do.
I’d have to agree that if watching porn is cheating the majority of married men are guilty. I caught my soon to be exhusband many times with porn (more than once with his pants down)With that said I think watching porn can lead down a slippery slope of deception and become unhealthy in a marriage. It’s one thing to share in watching porn as a couple, it’s another thing when men get more involved with secretly watching and fantasizing. I believe watching porn can be the starting point that eventually leads a man to stray… One of the ways to avoid this would be to be emotionally available for him and watch the stuff together.
I think you need to be more open with your husband. Masturbation should not be off limits but you need to make him understand that you are accepting and wanting to please him. Try to get him to share his desires with you and explore each other in new ways. There shouldn’t be anything wrong with watching porn together, just explain to him that he can watch it with you anytime he wants, but you would appreciate it if he shares the experience with you.
Hey, I am in the same position, I have recently come across some disturbing things in my marriage such as dating sights and recent porn sites which I found in my history, he denies, but I’m not naive, (stupid man) anyways I don’t think you’re over reacting at all, its as bad as it sounds, you need to sit down privately and lay everything on the table and discuss every issue in your marriage, try to be calm and strong, as emotional feelings can become high, then tell me what happens.